there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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