problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
