New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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