Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
