Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
COCAINE IS GR8
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
