adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
