I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
where am i from again
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
