You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
