You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
