Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
