I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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