You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
