38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
