Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
