I accidentally had phone sex last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it because I queefed?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize