do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize