Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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