pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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