To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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