I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
