Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
