It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Bring me that man meat
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
