I've blown a few things in my day
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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