ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
