I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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