He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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