Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dick very happy bro
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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