One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Fuck appropriateness.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just sucked dick on a ferry
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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