She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
50% drunk capacity currently
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
