Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
