just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
