i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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