i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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