I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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