do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
