I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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