i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
