with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
