Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize