I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
