im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
