I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
