Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Randomize
