I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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