Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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