"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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