take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize