he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
