hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
