Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
