It's Friday. Sex?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
