I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
