whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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