I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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