I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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