We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
