the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
