My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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