i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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