just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
