8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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