I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
