I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
